In yoga classes I always tell my students to be present in the moment let go of expectations, let go of the stories your brain focuses on and that our practice on our mat reflects our practice off our mat and in our real lives. As we learn to exhale on the mat; we learn to let go of the tension, the stress in the physical body and hold a shape or pose. Off the mat is it possible to do the same.
Change is inevitable. As I have learned this past month in my own personal life on and off the mat. On my mat I have often wanted to get to certain poses and over 20 years I have seen where my body is weak and strong. I used to accept my weaknesses and label my body, however over the past six months I have really felt that everything changes our physical body our age, our strength, our shape, everything. Some of it is beyond our control and some within.
Off the mat as those who have spent time with me over these past few weeks have seen; I have been ungrounded, a little scattered and just a bit off. My 7 (almost 8 year old, yikes) went off to overnight camp. I had to take what I learned about what my weaknesses are (letting go of control) and embrace my strengths and who I am. When you become a parent or when you start a yoga practice you grow, you see everything you do surrounds a little being or you label your self flexible, strong, good at this or that pose. But change is inevitable.
On my mat I have always said I am so strong, but my shoulders are a mess. I sleep funny, I have trauma etc. I labeled my experiences and myself. So I got stronger, I pushed, I gave up my control and labels and felt my shoulders where they were stuck, I rested, I breathed and I felt. It didn’t matter how much I tried to push my body only when it was ready did it want to open up.
Off my mat I let go, I let her go. We can't control. We can hold on, but we actually can't stop time. I wish I could so much. I was a mess for the past little bit but slowly I saw I am me, mother, yogi, yoga teacher, wife and meal planner and so much more. My world changed but deep down I was the same.
On my mat I reached a pose I never thought possible. It is weak, silly looking and so hard but I did it.
Off my mat as much as my words say it I felt in truth we are not the labels, jobs, roles we play, we are not our physical bodies or limitations. We are deeper than all of it. What I have learned is we have to be present in every moment, the good, the hard, the great and the scary. Why? Because in every moment we have the ability to grow, learn and feel it all.
Deep breaths. This practice of life is joyful, scary, fun and filled with what if's. If we can accept to feel, breath and move with time who knows what will come next!